Holidays and Stress:
Making the Most of Your Family Celebrations

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Or, is it?

We all look forward to creating lasting and enjoyable family memories. We may even envision a “picture perfect” holiday that resembles a Norman Rockwell painting or even a Martha Stewart magazine cover. However, it is inevitable that some parts of the holidays don’t exactly leave us feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Although joyful, this can actually be a very overwhelming time of the year. Our schedules are full and demanding, our finances stretched, we get less sleep, our diets are compromised, and our relationship problems rise to the surface. Combine these ingredients and you have a recipe for stress and sometimes clinical depression.

How can a family cope with this stressful time?

• Take some time to think about what you really want to achieve this holiday. Ignore the cultural messages of how your holiday should look . The house doesn’t have to look perfect, the meals don’t have to be gourmet and you don’t have to attend every “get-together”. Define what the holidays really mean to you. What do you want your children to learn or experience during the holidays

• Be realistic! Do not over pack your schedule. Decide as a family the events and traditions that are most special and focus on enjoying them. Children especially are overwhelmed if they have to attend one event after another. Children from families of divorce may be asked to attend double the events. Remember that they may feel pulled in both directions at this time of the year. Be sensitive to this and think about their needs before your own.

• Take care of the physical needs of yourself and your family. You will enjoy your holiday more. There are goodies everywhere, so enjoy them in moderation and try to keep meals balanced with healthy foods. Your body needs fuel during this hectic time. Too much sugar, caffeine, and alcohol can actually exasperate stress. Try to get as much sleep as you can and don’t forget to exercise

• Stick to a Budget. Make your financial plan ahead of time and stick to it!! It is easy to overspend but in the long run it can be more damaging. Remember your kids will remember quality time and fun memories more than the amount of gifts you give. Think about what you remember as being special from your childhood. 

                                                                 

• Grin and bear it!! The relational dysfunctions of your family of origin (the family you grew up in), your in-laws, and your nuclear family (your spouse and kids) tend to become very noticeable during the holidays. Be aware of your feelings and if you notice a pattern that is unhealthy decide you will deal with it after the holidays. For now, accept these imperfections in yourself and others and enjoy the holiday together. Be thankful for the family you have!

• Transitioning Back to School. Remember that after the holidays children may have a hard time transitioning back to their regular school schedule. This is normal and you may experience crying, clinging, refusal to go to school, acting out behavior etc.. Stay consistent and firm. Remember “this too shall pass!”

• Seek professional help. If your stress seems worse than usual and you are experiencing feelings of guilt or hopelessness, fatigue, lack of interest in normal activities, or even suicidal thoughts, you may be clinically depressed. It is not unusual for clinical depression to be triggered by this time of the year. Seek professional help if you are experiencing these symptoms.

• Remember Christ! Jesus is definitely the “reason for the season”! Find ways to keep Him the focus of your holidays. Go to www.celebratingholidays.com for the Christian history and symbols of several holidays including Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I would like to wish you and your family a wonderful holiday. I hope you are richly blessed with wonderful experiences and that you create lasting memories during this time of the year. If you are experiencing any difficulties and need counseling, I would consider it my privilege to help you now or any time of the year. ©Elaine M. Wilkins, MFT 2012